dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
