so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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