remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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