I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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