Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
