Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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