Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
