I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
