Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
