i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We have so much sex to catch up on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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