Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize