I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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