Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I cut my penus on the lid.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
