So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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