So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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