we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
