3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
