My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
