that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
