the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
