oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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