Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
