I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
