i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize