i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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