great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
