I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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