it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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