It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
