I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
