it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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