Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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