That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This baby is an asshole
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
