The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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