your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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