just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
