the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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