I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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