Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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