dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
