no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
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Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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