your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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