i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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