sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
