she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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