I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize