Sober January is a disaster.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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