where am i from again
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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