You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
