How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
