Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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