Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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