my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
