she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
