My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize